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Being so desperate for a conversation starter that you make up news
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Killing all three stooges and meeting up with your friend after to say, "Didnt you hear? The three stooges died.."
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Realizing all three stooges are dead
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The Three Stogies
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Finding a hiding place to smoke your stogies vs Smoking your stogies wherever you want because you are a stud
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Smoking stogies because you want to vs Smoking stogies because your girlfriends father introduced you to them
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Giving everyone a cigar but not really saying why
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Living the So-Far-No-Cigar lifestyle
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Replying "me" to every question even if it directly implicates you for murder
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Getting invited to feature on a Kanye song and proceeding to only say "LOEEOEEOOII LOOEEOOEEOO" on your verse
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Drinking Lotsa Sodie-Pops
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Turning all the accessibility features off on your grandma's PC, rendering it unusable
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Going "hmm i know! *SHITS SELF*" to every question
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Going "hmm iunno *SHITS SELF*" to every question
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Enabling "Sticky Keys" by Jizzing all over your Keyboard
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Enjoying waiting in line intrinsically
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Searching for "Red People" on Google Images
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The Messiest Desk Ever
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Having a long think about cum and its scientific properties
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Ways to bite people without waking them up
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the yoda tin
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Rigging a game of charades to make your friend get the Prostitute card every time
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gangnam style
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bassball bat
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Would you rather have an "epiphany" or an "epic funny"
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O NO GRIMBO PEE TOO MUCH!!!
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Stepping outside and settling it like Men: with a game of Tag
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Pre-9/11 humor: it was just plane funny
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The debatable canonicity of the post-9/11 sonic games
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Games that were released right before 9/11 (e.g. Insaniquarium)
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Doing salvia with bronies
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Salivating with the homies
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Pronouncing it "hwhite"
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Drill rapping to the Drill Dozer OST
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Bad News Theme Song
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Sexism In Yu-Gi-Oh!: Why Is "Dark Magician" Not Called "Dark Magician Boy" When There's "Dark Magician Girl"?
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Sleeping throug all your birthday wishes
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Getting into a game and then switching to a different game 2-3 days later
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Sitting down with your friends and having a long, fruitful conversation in which everyone relentlessly hates on Marshmello
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Having horrible timing asking people's pronouns
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Mother Fucker Wheres My Butter
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Papa John's horrible anus
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Papa John's annus horribilis
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Pussyin' Out
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GrandpaRP
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Chasin' Grannies
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"Sticky" "Situations"
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New Gender Found: New Yorker
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Pouring orange juice on your cereal and then announcing "I'm Sorry"
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The Science Of me me big boy
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What gubble does to a mf
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pre-nup
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The Many Video Games About Bombers And Terrorists
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unabomberman 64
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unabomberman
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Asking someone for the time and then walking away while they're still talking
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Nice Money! I'll Be Taking That
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Transferring money from an unsuspecting victim's hands to your hands
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Contemplating whether to rob the bank or do a legitimate transfer
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Gay Tripping Is Gay
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Slightly having sex
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The Inner Machinations of the Conversation Topics Database
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Describing your turds as 'rustic'
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Sending your opponent to the "Shadow Realm" (Wisconsin)
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Australian yu gi oh players and their "decks"
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Posting " TRAINWRECKED " in all caps in the comments section of an article about a trainwreck
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Tubgirl: Love At First Page Load
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Pitching a new Breaking Bad Spin-off named "Mikey Mayhem" to AMC
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Funny Pizza Land
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Taking an asspill and doing an AMA
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Going "number 3"
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Subtly trolling your friends by replacing all the furniture in their house with exact replicas
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Tricking people into coming to your "Dolphin Party" only to have them walk in on you giving birth
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Spooking people by screaming "You better not have fucked my wife!"
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Taking A Picture Of Your Ceiling
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The Internet For Me Is The Only Way to Conceptualize These Past Experiences Into A Way For Me To Avoid It But I Run Back To The Place I Once Was Before. Talking To These Random People To Feel SOMETHING!
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The Heaviest Baby Ever Born
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Queefing out change at the reception desk
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Watching ASMR on 5x speed
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Finding out
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Armored Farts
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Wheely Dealy with an Armored Car
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Coming out of retirement and immediately breaking every bone and ligament in your body
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Dommy Mommy Money
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Cow-abunga! They're At It Again
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Sad Cow Disease
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Return of the Cow Pandemic: Please Don't Stop The Moo-Sick
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Putting someone in a meatgrinder
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Turning someone into a sausage
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WAAUGGH!! AAHHHH!? HHUUUUHH??!!! OOOOOIIIIEEEE!!! GAGJGHHUUUUH!!!!!!!
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